


The Unworthy Soldier

by Cherrypie55



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s01e13 The Parting of the Ways, F/M, Ninth Doctor's Regeneration, The Doctor Regenerates (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26772196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrypie55/pseuds/Cherrypie55
Summary: 'The Doctor was stood surrounded by daleks ready to die when she appeared, all pink and yellow and shining brighter than a thousand suns with the power of the time vortex running through her. Rose. His Rose.'The ninth Doctor's thoughts at the end of The Parting of the Ways. S1 EP13.All speech is taken directly from the episode so credit to Russell T Davis for that.
Relationships: Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Kudos: 10





	The Unworthy Soldier

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilverHalos88](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverHalos88/gifts).



The Doctor was stood surrounded by daleks ready to die when she appeared, all pink and yellow and shining brighter than a thousand suns with the power of the time vortex running through her. Rose. His Rose and she was burning. Burning for him. He didn’t deserve this he didn’t deserve her giving everything just to save him, didn’t she realise she would die! Her stupid, tiny, wonderful human brain was burning. He wasn’t worth this, he didn’t want to survive if it meant loosing her. Not again. Not her. He couldn’t loose anyone else. 

And then she was destroying the daleks. All of them. He had to make her stop, he couldn’t let her do this, she should never have had to kill, even if it was daleks. There was too much death, too much destruction, the war. He couldn’t let her be like him. She was better than him. She was kind and good and so much better than him. The power of the vortex was killing her, she was burning and it was his fault. It was all his fault. 

“The power's gonna kill you and it’s my fault.” He pleaded with her, his voice cracking.

“I can see everything. All that is, all that was, all there ever could be.” Her sweet voice thick with tears. 

He had to save her. He had been prepared to die on that space station now he would die for her. Instead of her. His Rose. He took her hands and pulled her to him. _If this is my last chance_ he thought as he kissed her, absorbing the energy of the vortex into himself. The kiss wasn’t necessary but he was selfish. He had known how Rose felt about him, he’d occasionally indulged in casual flirting with her but had always held himself back. Her friendship was more than he deserved, he was too old, too damaged for anything more. But just this once, if it was the last chance he’d ever have.. he was selfish. 

He caught her as she collapsed and lowered her gently to the ground, before standing to return the vortex to the Tardis. He felt the old girl hum in gratitude as he staggered at the loss of energy. His body ravaged in its wake. Then the Doctor smiled. Not this regenerations trademark grin that he so often plastered on his face to conceal other emotions, but a small smile, he had done it. He had saved her. Kneeling beside her he stroked her hair, her face, carefully checking her pulse just to be sure before lifting her up and walking into the tardis.

  
By the time she woken up it had already begun. The faint glowing golden energy flowing through his veins, and it hurt. It hadn’t even been that long but he’d almost forgotten how much this hurt. He tried to explain what had happened, what was still happening but it was hard to stay focused with the regeneration energy growing stronger. 

He’d already put the tardis in flight, hoping to get Rose back to Earth before he regenerated. He knew he’d need rest afterwards and he could only hope she would stay with him after it happened. 

He didn’t want his time with her to end so he rambled on about Barcelona, he didn’t even like Barcelona! Yet he went on and on about it, joking and laughing too loudly. He could barely contain the pain now. He’d been fighting his regeneration until she came to. He hadn’t wanted her to wake up with someone else, some other Doctor in his tardis, half mad post regeneration. The first few days were always a bit foggy, changing from one Doctor to the next. He didn’t want her to be scared. 

Her voice cut through his thoughts “Then... why can't we go?”

And he had to tell her “Maybe you will, and maybe I will. But not like this.”

“You're not making sense.” She said sounding confused.

“I might never make sense again! I might have two heads, or no head. Imagine me with no head, ha! And don't say that's an improvement...” he said chuckling.

She was smiling but the look in her eyes told him she was scared. But maybe the next one would be better for her. Not as broken.

“But it's a bit dodgy, this process. You never know what you're gonna to end up with.” He tried to explain as a burst of regeneration energy bloomed in his chest causing him to double over in pain.

“Doctor!” she shouted trying to run towards him.

No. “Stay away!” He shouted back. This would all be for nothing if she got caught in his regeneration energy.

“Doctor, tell me what's going on.” She begged. The look on her face almost breaking his hearts. 

“I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex, and no one's meant to do that!” He laughed before turning serious “Every cell in my body's dying.” 

She needed to know. It was happening now there was no delaying it anymore, he could already feel the change coming. Every nerve ending firing, burning with pain.

“Can't you do something?” Rose asked, sounding terrified now.

She was scared to lose him. Deep down inside, pushed away in that dark sadistic part of himself the daleks called the oncoming storm that made him happy. 

“Yeah. I'm doing it now! Time Lords have this little trick. It's sort of a way of cheating death. Except... it means I'm gonna change. And I'm not gonna see you again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face.” 

Time Lords of old could control their regenerations. He’d never been that skilled but oh did he wish he was. He would be so much better for her, give her someone she’d like, someone good enough for her. Not this old body, war hardened, shaven head and leather jacket looking every bit the soldier still. He knew he was damaged, the pain of the war, of losing Gallifrey was with him constantly. But with her it didn’t hurt so much, she made it better, made him want to be better. He wanted to give her a younger Doctor, someone she’d be proud to be seen with, someone fun and pretty like her. Not like him. He was too grumpy, too hurt, he’d never deserved her but maybe.. just maybe.

“And before I go—” he had to tell her.

“Don't say that!” she interrupted desperately.

This was it.

“Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what? So was I!” he grinned that trademark grin as the energy overtook him.

I saved her. I did it. My Rose. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a gift to a friend who wanted to see how I'd write the ninth Doctor. I've got a soft spot for 9 so hopefully I did him justice.


End file.
